How to Have a Weekly Family Meeting

 On our anniversary trip last August Josh announced the best gift he could’ve given me. He'd signed us up for a program called Homeroom through an organization called Family Teams! We’d attended a conference they put on the previous October in Cincinnati and to be honest, he wasn’t totally bought in to the material they presented which was disappointing as I’d been gobbling up their podcasts and Instagram posts for months. But I’d resigned myself to being glad that through the conference we’d had great conversations about the type of family we wanted to have and that at least it had given us the opportunity to have those conversations. Then I kind of moved on, listened to podcasts I thought were interesting but tried to not pressure Josh to follow something he didn’t fully want to pursue. I was pretty shocked when he told me he’d signed us up.

Since August we’ve been more intentional than ever before with our marriage. We try to have a meeting every Sunday evening to catch up on the past week and plan for the week ahead. I will admit that with a new baby it can be really hard to make time to sit down and plan but honestly the weeks that we don’t make it happen are usually really hard. Having a time when Josh and I can intentionally communicate about our expectations for the week makes things go much more smoothly. I wanted to share with you all what a Lowe Family Meeting looks like and encourage you to give it a try no matter what stage your family is in!

1. Family Plan Calendar - The first thing we do each week is fill in our Family Plan calendar for the week. Josh bought me this calendar for Christmas and it is an awesome tool since it covers so many things for our household. We talk through our expectations for each day of the week and fill in the calendar as we go. This has been so helpful as we navigate parenthood for the first time, it helps me to manage my expectations for when Josh will be home and available to give me a break in the evenings. I also love talking about what we’re thankful for and discussing what we want to be praying about as a family.
2. Budget Chat - One of the negative things that I identified in our 2020 review was that due to the busyness of my work schedule I really didn’t pay attention at all to our budget or financial situation. Josh definitely picked up the slack in that area but we agreed that it probably wasn’t good for us to be one sided in that area. Having this time set aside each week allows us to talk through how we’re doing following our budget and discuss what to do with any unexpected income (hello stimulus checks). 
3. Miscellaneous Topics - After our budget chat we have a chance to discuss anything else that may need to be addressed. Sometimes we dream about the future during this time and other times we do our taxes, it truly is a random part of the meeting. Sometimes we bust out in song (well, Josh does, my singing is a little more planned).
4. Bible Reading/Homeroom - Last but not least Josh will read aloud a part of Scripture we’ve been reading separately in our quiet times and we’ll discuss it with one another. Recently we’ve just been reading one Psalm a week, nothing too complicated. We just read the same Psalm each day throughout the week and then talk about it together. We learned pretty early on that Josh and I have different approaches to our time in God’s word so it’s best if we do something simple that we can share together. During this time we also go through our Homeroom study which is what led us to do a family meeting each week. Homeroom has made a huge impact on our marriage and really helps us implement some practical and simple tools to manage our home more effectively. They also have a bunch of parenting studies that we’re excited to do as Brooklyn gets older. 

Practically we have an hour and a half set aside on our calendars and we try to spend that time together each week. But obviously life happens and sometimes our family meeting is short and we don’t have time to go through all of these items and sometimes we spend a few hours together. There are also times when we can’t make it happen at all and we have to wait till the next week. I think the trick though is to start small and make an attempt. You can improve from there but starting small is better than not starting at all. 

Let me know in the comments, do you have a family meeting? If not, what’s stopping you? Feel free to leave any questions below and I’ll do my best to answer!

Unfortunately Homeroom materials are no longer available to share but I hear they have something new coming soon so check out their website. You can also access their free content on Instagram @familyteams - this is not sponsored, we truly have just been so encouraged by their resources!

Brooklyn Grace // February 11, 2021

 

All Photos by BH photo & design

Our sweet baby girl, Brooklyn Grace, was born at 3:11 in the afternoon on February 11th. She’s a tall skinny gal, 7 lbs 7 oz at birth and 21 inches long. She is now 5 weeks old and is starting to chunk up but she’s still just a teeny girl with long arms and legs. As of right now it seems like she takes after Daddy’s coloring with his dark hair and a similar skin tone. We thought she was really tan when she was born which was comical to us because we’re both pretty pale. It turned out she had a little bit of jaundice (thankfully not serious enough to lay under a lamp) but now that it has improved she’s much more pale like Mom and Dad. Brooklyn’s eyes belong to her mama though, I’ve got a few pictures of me as a baby that look pretty similar to her (follow me on Instagram to see, I’ll save them to my Baby B highlight @livelaughlowe). 

We’ve had it easy these first five weeks of parenthood. She loves to sleep and cuddle but doesn’t mind if that’s done in someone’s arms, her swing or her crib. She doesn’t quite like the bassinet at night but she’s starting to get used to nighttime and only wakes us up once during the night and once in the early morning hours. Most of the time we still have to wake her up to eat during the day so she just loves to have a cozy sleep. Just this last week she’s become more animated, giving us tiny little smiles and a random coo. Right now she’s snoring in a baby wrap as I type. We’re so thankful for her precious life and that we get to watch her grow. God is so good to us. 

Our friend Brittany took photos of her a few weeks ago and I’ve posted a few of my favorites for your enjoyment. I’m sure I’ll have more to write on our sweet Miss B over the next year as her mama. If you have any parenting tips, hacks, or memories feel free to comment below!

2021 Goals

Photo by BH photo & design 

Happy New Year friends! It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything on this blog. In fact, it’s been just over 3 years!!

2020 was quite the year of life changes for everyone but 2021 is going to be another year of change for my family. We’re expecting our first baby in just two short weeks so I want to do a better job of documenting this season of my life. Since August, Josh and I have been trying to be more intentional about creating rhythms that will help us to grow into a strong family. One of those that we started this year was a weekend Family Summit. This time it was just the two of us but we hope that even as our family grows in number and age we’ll be able to make this a yearly tradition. 

This year we followed a guide from Abraham’s Wallet which led us through four stages of reviewing, dreaming, planning and consecrating. A couple weeks ago we had a “staycation” for our Family Summit, next year we may decide to get away. We had a lot of fun just enjoying restaurants in our town and having a relaxing weekend together. On Friday we spent the evening reviewing 2020, we talked about what was good and bad spiritually, relationally, physically, intellectually, and financially. 

In our review we determined that through a “bad year” God redeemed the time to let us grow closer to each other, our family, and make new friends. He grew us closer to His image through the love of our small group and the truth of His word. He carried us through the pain of loss and blessed us with great joy awaiting our little girl’s arrival. The Lord was faithful even when we weren’t - protecting our health and finances in a year where both could have been lost. 2020 was a journey for sure.

On Saturday we got to dream! The rule was that we weren’t allowed to tear each other down in any dreams but instead to simply listen. We went through the same five capitals: spiritual, relational, physical, intellectual, and financial. We dreamed through each, considering what we should stop, start and keep doing. At the end we summarized a vision for 2021: To start a deep relationship with our daughter while still having a relationship with our small group. And for us to grow in oneness through all things.

It’s a pretty simple idea for the next year mainly because we know our lives are going to be wrapped around a sweet new baby, we don’t want to commit to too many new things. 

Sunday was the day of planning. Through our review we identified things that didn’t go well, and in the dreaming phase we envisioned ways to make those things better. I’ve listed some of our family goals and most of my personal goals for the year. The guide led us to create a weekly and yearly calendar to make space for these goals to be attainable. I hope this list may give you some ideas for your family or just for yourself. Leave me a comment below, what are your goals for 2021?

Spiritual 

• Meet weekly with our small group

• Read God’s Word daily

Relational 

• Continue our weekly family meeting

• Plan a trip with my parents

• One lunch date with a friend each month

• Host a game night with friends each month

Physical 

• Make a weekly meal plan

• Go on a weekly family walk

• Walk Ella (our dog) twice a week

• Workout 3 times a week (this may look different in postpartum)

Intellectual 

• Read 4 books

• Work on a creative project each month

Financial 

• Weekly and monthly budget review together

• Track grocery expenses while shopping to stay on budget

• Establish a 3 to 6 month emergency fund

• Set up a more intentional retirement account

• Start a blessing fund for our daughter

• Begin to pay off our house at a faster pace

How to Make a Budget in Google Sheets Part 3

Now for part 3! I hope that part 2 will make a little more sense in this part. We left off making the tithe tracker for those of you who tithe part of your income. Next we'll work on setting up each month and making totals for the end of the year.

21. Starting in cell C2 you'll want to type in January. Then click on the bottom right corner of the cell and drag until cells are filled with February through December. To do this you want to make sure your cursor looks like a small plus sign (+).

22. Then you'll want to scroll to the bottom of the spreadsheet and you'll want to copy over from column B all the way to column N for each of the totals. This is what your spreadsheet should look like.

23. Now scroll up to the top of the spreadsheet and we'll work in column O. You'll name cell O2 Expected Yearly. And then in cell O3 type in the formula =B4*12 and copy this down to the cell right above Total Income Before Tithe. This will tell you what your budgeted yearly amounts are in each category.

24. Next you can copy the totals formulas in rows 24 - 41 over to column O as well.

25. Next you'll want to name cell P2 Actual Yearly, this will show the total spent in each category over the whole year. The formula in cell P4 will be =SUM(C4:N4) or the sum of January through December in that category. Then you can copy down to the cell above Total Income Before Tithe. And then you can copy over the Totals at the bottom over to column P as well.

26. The spreadsheet is almost complete but you'll want to make a couple changes in columns O & P, scroll to the bottom to view the lines Made More and Spent Less. You'll want to change the formulas in these columns. O31 should have the formula =O24-$O$24 and then you can copy over to P31.

27. Next change the formula in O33 to =$O$27-O27 and then copy over to P33.

And that's the whole spreadsheet! I hope the pictures helped further explain the steps. I don't think it's too hard to make once you get started. Each month, Josh and I used our tracked expenses on Mint to fill in the income and expenses for that month. Then we make sure that we didn't spend more than we made, that we use any money we made more than we thought to make a contribution to our goals, and we check to see if we spend less than we thought. The spreadsheet helps us look at what Mint tracks for us. I'll do another blog soon to show our monthly process. Please comment or send me an email or direct message if you have any questions, I'm happy to help!

Click here to look at the spreadsheet created in this tutorial.

How to Make a Budget in Google Sheets Part 2

The first part of this series was fairly easy to do but I think this part will be a little bit more challenging to explain. Get ready!

11. In the last part we set up our budget amounts. So each month, before we can spend, we take out a percentage of our money and give it to our local church. In our budget we have two income spots, income before tithe and income after tithe. Income after tithe is what we will use to cover our expenses each month. If you don't go to church you can skip the tithe line. After putting in budget amounts I add formulas to total up the income and expenses. In the Before Tithe section I use the formula: =SUM()  And in the parentheses I highlight the cells for income. In this example the formula looks like =SUM(B4:B5)

12. Next I use the formula =SUM(B4:B5)*.10 in the tithe category to show that we are taking 10 percent out of our income to give to the church. 

13. The next formula simply subtracts the tithe line from the income before tithe line. You subtract by typing the formula =B24-B25 

14. Next on the Total Expenses line you want to use the same formula as Step 11 except this time use it to total the expenses. =SUM(B8:B22)

15. Now after we have figured out the total income and expenses we add in some other formulas below those. The first we add is cashflow, this line shows us if we spent more than we made. We always want this line to be a zero or a positive number. This formula subtracts total expenses from total income after tithe. =B26-B27

16. Now in our example we have a negative number on that line because we didn't account for giving a tithe. So if you have that in your budget as well, now is the part where you might feel the sacrifice of tithing (which is a good thing). You'll need to adjust your budget amounts so that line equals zero. You want every dollar to be accounted for so don't make it a positive number either. It will hopefully be a positive amount in the monthly sections but this is still the budgeted portion of the spreadsheet.

17. Next Josh and I always add a line that subtracts budgeted income from actual income. We use this line to tell us if we made more than we thought and then we use that amount to make a contribution to some of our goals. In this example we'll use the extra money to go towards an emergency fund, which is the first step of Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps for Getting out of Debt . The formula used here is =B24-$B$24 Use the dollar sign to make that second cell permanent so that when we copy this formula into the monthly totals, it will stay the same for each cell. If you don't, it will make the formulas inaccurate in later steps. 

18. Next we make line to know if we spent less than we thought. This was a line we made just to remind us to keep that amount in our bank account as roll over for the next month. This subtracts actual from budgeted. The first cell in this formula will be the permanent one. =$B$27-B27

19. 2 more steps for this part! After this I add a tithe tracker so that we make sure we give what we're committed to giving and this year we're going to try our best to keep up with it each week. It's not too difficult to make. I label the start of it Tithe Tracker and the cell to the right has a formula that links this cell and the tithe cell. 

20. Then in the leftover cell I create a formula that subtracts each weeks contribution from the tithe amount. =B35-SUM(B36:B40)

I hope this part was well explained part of this might make more sense as week keep going. On to Part 3!

How to Make a Budget in Google Sheets Part 1

In my first personal finance post I said I had plans to write a tutorial on how to create a budget spreadsheet using Google Sheets. Well, here it is...1 year later. Josh and I just redid our budget for this year and I'm motivated again to keep using the format we have and maybe in another year I'll share with you how we use this every month. LOL. This will be the first post of several for the tutorial. I decided to do this in parts just so it isn't too long, they will all be linked together so finding the next part will be easy.

1. First you will want to open up a new page in Google Chrome and click on the 3x3 squares next to "image" in the top right hand corner.

2. After clicking on the squares a drop down menu will appear and you'll want to select "Drive". If you don't already have a Google account, selecting "Drive" may have you create one (it's free so go ahead and sign up!).

3. Clicking on "Drive" will bring you to this screen. You'll want to choose the blue button "New" and then click on "Google Sheets". 

4. Once you have opened your new Google Sheets you can name it at the top by clicking on "Untitled Spreadsheet" and typing in whatever name you want to give the document.

5. I also like to give the spreadsheet a title in the cell A1. But that's just me, you don't have to add that! My font size is 18 for those of you that want to know, and I extend the right side of the cell by clicking on the right line and dragging it.

6. Next I like to freeze columns A and B and rows 1 and 2 so that I can see them at all times. This is done by selecting row 1 and dragging down to row 2 so that both rows are light blue. Then in the ribbon below the title of your spreadsheet, select view, freeze, and 2 rows.

7. You'll know that you have done it correctly when a gray line appears under row 2.

8. Repeat steps 6 on columns A and B to complete the freeze panes but instead of choosing "2 Rows" choose "2 columns". You'll know you have done this correctly when a gray line appears at the right edge of column B.

9. Next I like to add my headings for the budget categories. I'll also write a blog soon on the different budget categories you might want to think about and the categories we use in ours. Starting in cell A3 I list out the different types of income and then in the column following I list out the different types of expenses. You can be as creative as you want with the formatting, I like to make ours easy to look at.

10. Next in column B you can add a header for Expected Monthly amounts and add in the dollar amounts that you'd like to see spent or earned in each month for the year. In following parts we'll work on making sure your amounts are accurate. (I also went back later and added dollar signs to the expenses amounts).

There are the first ten steps! Stay tuned for Part 2. In total, including writing this post and capturing the screen shots while making the budget, these steps only took me 1 hour. So think how quick and easy it will be when you don't have to write out the steps and think about how to explain the process! Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions!

3 Marriage Habits to Start (or Re-start) in the New Year

This year I'm thinking about a lot of areas in my life where I'd like to see improvement. One of those areas is my marriage. It's been a stressful season of life for us, we bought a new house and are remodeling it, we both started new jobs and we're both trying to find a balance in how we spend our time. It's easy for both of us to forget what is important. Because of this, we've had a tendency to have unspoken and unmet expectations, poor communication, and arguments. Since Thanksgiving, Josh and I have discussed several things that we think will remind us to love each other and pursue the Lord together. We've started to implement a few and they've been helpful already.

1. Let's Date Each Other Again

When I think back on dating Josh I think about how we emphasized spending time together. We had one night a week that was reserved for the just the two of us. Monday nights were spent watching a movie, reading the Word, eating dinner together, and it was usually full of a lot of laughter. Now that we are married and live in the same home, we've lost that need or rather lost the motivation to really spend intentional time together. I'd like to start dating again in the new year. Maybe sometimes that will mean leaving the house to do something fun or maybe it will mean eating dinner together at home and just enjoying each other's company. It might even mean double dating with friends. I think we need a healthy dose of fun added back into our weeks together, something that will remind us why we fell in love.

2. Read the Bible and Pray Together

This was such a key part of our dating relationship but I don't think it's something we've valued as much being married. Over the advent season we started reading the story of Jesus' birth together every night and it was so sweet. We were more loving towards each other and I felt we were on the same page in making decisions together. We're a work in progress in this area, but I'm praying that we continue this together. I think just the little glimpse of good I saw over the path month is a reason to read and pray together more.

3. Encourage One Another

We spent our New Year's Eve at home this year and it was a great time of reflecting and planning for the next year. We looked at our budget (party!!!) and made decisions together about our money. We were reminded that our money belongs to the Lord and that we need honor him together in that by both taking responsibility for our finances. Each week we are going to sit down on Friday together to go over our budget, this way we can keep each other accountable to the decisions we have made about spending our money wisely. We also shared other goals, some like the two above, ways we want to be a better spouse, things we want to accomplish with the house, being healthier all around and ways we both want to grow in our individual relationships with the Lord. We have to communicate these things with each other in order to effectively encourage and be encouraged.

Now, I totally don't want to come across as though we have this whole marriage thing figured out...we totally don't! In fact, in the middle of writing this post we had a huge teary, angry fight and it was not fun. After the fight I thought I shouldn't even finish this post because it's obvious the things we've been trying aren't working. But honestly, I think that's Satan's way of trying to convince me that marriage isn't worth it, that it's easier to not try to love Josh or want to make an effort to know him better. Satan knows that when Josh and I are really close we're better at being on the same page and moving towards the Lord. But he also knows that when we fight we are distracted from working our hardest to display in our marriage the beautiful reflection of Christ and His Church. 

So today I'm reminding myself, by sharing these habits with you, that Jesus has already won, that His power is much more capable than my own to hold our marriage together. We're still learning, we're still sinful and it's okay if you are too because if you follow the Lord then your marriage is held together by the Creator of the universe. My goal is to continue to try and make these habits a priority, even if some days it seems like it isn't working, because I know that my marriage doesn't rest on my shoulders or Josh's, but on Christ's and that the only load I carry is His.

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

Share with me the habits you want to start with your spouse or the dreams you have of what marriage should look like. I'd love to hear them!